It’s the littlest things that remind me of you, mom. Just walking through a store and seeing something as random as mini blueberry muffins and I’m instantly taken back to my childhood – my time with you. I smiled as I stood there in the aisle, with tears welling up in my eyes. I reached out and touched that box of mini muffins, as if touching that box would connect me to you somehow. I wanted to sit down with you over mini muffins and coffee and talk about life, love, and the mindless things like the weather. But I knew I couldn’t, and as I slowly pulled my hand away from that box of mini muffins realization settled back in. You are gone, though the memories are still so fresh in my mind. And as I left that aisle, as crazy as it seems, I felt I was leaving you behind…. only to be reminded of you in those bittersweet moments that creep up out of nowhere, like today. Don’t get me wrong, I think of you often, but these particular moments – those random don’t mean anything to anyone else moments, like mini blueberry muffins…well, those hurt much more. They stir something deeper inside me – that little girl who needs her mommy even though I’m a grown woman. Those moments make the world stop spinning for a brief time and I’m left in the silence of my own memories. I know I’m just rambling on, but I miss you. I miss you so very much. I guess I should let you go now. It felt so nice to talk with you again, even though it’s really just a one-sided conversation. It’s more to help my heart hurt a little less. Say hi to grandma for me. I miss her very much too.
Your little girl